Whisky and Cigarettes

Blonde haired beauty
With a crack in her smile
She's been through more than you'd know
That blonde haired beauty
Has walked a mile
In shoes with no sole

She's got a lot on her mind
But you'd never know
She's got a lot on her mind
But all that will show

Whisky and cigarettes
Are lingering on her breath
Yeah, Jim Beam gives her time to dream
While the world turns its back on her
Time and time again

This blonde haired beauty
Knows just what she's worth
But the blonde haired beauty
Never gets what she deserves

Whisky and cigarettes
Are lingering on her breath
Yeah, Jim Beam gives her time to dream
While the world turns its back on her
Time and time again

And she turns back to fight
For what she deserves
She tries to demand it
But every time,
She comes up empty handed...

Whisky and cigarettes
They're the penance for no sin
Whisky and cigarettes
'Cause Heaven won't let her in

Whisky and cigarettes
Are lingering on her breath
And she curses Jim Beam for selling her a dream
That turned its back on her, too

The Perfect Man

Do you exist?

I want someone that will hold me while I cry. Someone that will kiss my forehead and look into my eyes and say he loves me while tears stream down my face.

I want someone that will respect my privacy.

I want someone that is strong enough to carry me when I fall.

I want someone that I can call at 3am to rescue me because I was stupid enough to think that my car could drive that far on empty.

I want someone that will actually defend me when someone wrongs me, not just say they will.

I want someone that will give me my space when I need it, without making me feel bad.

I want someone that will write me notes. I love notes. And not overly sappy ones that make me feel like I need to shower off the sticky sweetness. Just notes.

I want someone that understands that phonecalls should last no longer than a minute if at all possible.

I want someone that loves animals. Specifically dogs. That's a must.

I want someone that knows what they want to do in life. If I can have a plan for life, so can you.

I want someone that loves wide open spaces. Living in the country, but still close enough that a mall is 20 minutes away.

No. Emo. Kids. Stop thinking the world is out to get you. You make me want to stab my eyes out.

I want someone that isn't afraid to get into an insult match. Humor is a requirement in life. Without it, life sucks.

I want someone that's not afraid to fight with me. Grow some balls and yell at me if I do something bitchy!

I want someone that makes me mix CDs that mean something to them. I love music, and a lot of times music I play has lyrics that mean something. I'd like a guy that can appreciate my love for music.

I want someone that will go out of their way for me. Not all the time, because that's ridiculous. But every once and awhile.

I want someone that will show up at my door and appologize when they've done something wrong. Again, not every time, but maybe once.

I have a bad boy fetish...

I also think black tattoos on one shoulder blade is about the hottest thing in the world.

I love lean muscle. Not bulky body builder crap. Lean muscle. Mmmm.

I love longish hair.

Guys that are good with kids = major points.

Guys that have a kid = adorable.

I love a guy that can dance!


...and that's what I have thought of for now.

There is probably no guy that can fill all of this. But a girl can always dream.

Be careful what you wish for

I've always been a fan of trinkets. Especially those with symbolism of the mystical or spiritual sort.

I also have a love for Medieval Faires. To be able to go back in time (without that silly plague business) and see the beautiful clothing and hear the talk is amazing. I love the feeling, the atmosphere, that is at each Medieval Faire I go to.

This one was no different. I arrived with one of my old best friends that afternoon, mother in tow, and began galavanting about. We bought many things we'd never use and took many pictures that to this day, though our friendship has ended, make me smile happily in rememberance.

After getting our tarot cards read, we headed over to a booth where a lady with oversized breasts shoved in an undersized corset was selling trinkets. There were many things that could have caught my attention at this booth, but I was instantly mesmerised by one of the simplest items she had on display. It was a little heart-shaped locket that seemed to be made of metal vines. Inside the locket, through the vines, you could see a pink heart. As I read what was written on its little box, I found that it was a "heart's desire" locket. The idea was to hold the little pink heart and wish for the things you most desired. Then you would put it into the metal vine locket and it would come true.

It sounded silly, but something got me to produce the mere five dollars it cost and hand it over to the large-breasted woman.

That night, after the Faire, I put the necklace on, and took out the little pink heart. I held it in my hands, closed my eyes, and wished for two things: acceptance into the school of my choice, and a love to make me forget the one that had treated me so badly. Then I placed the little pink heart back into its cozy entrapment.

I don't know how much later it was that it happened, but one day that old friend of mine and a boy that I had known since my sophmore year at high school went out to the ranch in Arcadia. We wrestled around and climbed trees and did all kinds of silly things that the city now witholds from me. At one point, after knocking the boy to the ground, I subconsiously reached for my necklace. I realized something was wrong. The clasp had come undone, and I had lost the little pink heart.

At first I was devastated. Would I never have my heart's desire? We searched for a good half hour for that little pink heart, but it was nowhere to be found. Then a second thought came to mind. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe I didn't need my heart's desire anymore because it had come true.

A few weeks later, I recieved my final acceptance letter. I had gotten into every school I applied.

Also, the boy had become my boyfriend. And I did love him very much.

He was there though a trying time in my life and stood by me as I made my stupid mistakes over and over. He didn't give up on me when I fell for my old lover again. He held on strong.

Finally I woke up one day in my apartment and realized that I was actually over the old lover. It was one of the happiest days I had ever experienced.

It was also almost certainly the day everything started going sour with the boy I had fallen so hard for.

I realize now that I wasn't clear enough with my wish. I wished for someone to help me forget the love I had with the old boy. However, I forgot to wish for a love that would stay.

After a few months of fighting, a lie ended the relationship. And now I stand again, wishing to shake my fist at the little pink heart that tricked me. That little clasp that made me believe. They had both tricked me into temporary happiness.

And now I sit at my apartment alone, uncertain of my future. I may be losing my scholarship to this school of my dreams. Though I asked for acceptance, I failed to ask to stay.

I have been defeated by a little pink heart in a little metal locket. What a silly way to lose it all.