Contemplation

I love country music. And getting stuck behind a caravan of horses that stops traffic, instead of the usual grind of stupidity in cars on I4. I miss falling asleep to crickets instead of music blaring from the neighbors above or beside me. I miss going out at night and walking in the pastures with the horses and hugging their necks when I'm upset. I miss my boys...I want to find a way to go visit my old horse, James. He was so gorgeous. I miss the freedom of the country. The clean air, the horseback riding, the taste of Smokehouse in the morning. I miss high school sometimes, where the biggest worry was who was dating who, and if the rednecks were starting shit with the blacks again.

I miss the trucks covered in mud from a weekend out mudding. I miss the football games that 90% of the town attended. The kettle corn at the county fair, and the bull riding at Maverick's during the summer before dancing to a down home country band doing covers of favorite country songs. I miss not being able to go anywhere without seeing twenty people you knew. I miss the little mall where everyone hung out in the food court, then Wal-Mart until 2am. I miss the scavenger hunts up and down 41.

I miss a lot. Being in Orlando is getting to be almost too much sometimes. Maybe I should transfer somewhere that I'm happier. At the same time, though, I love my independence. I love the small group of friends I have up here. I love driving on hills instead of the flat of south Florida. I love UCF, even though right now it's tough. I love the football games here that, even though we know we'll most likely lose, we all come in rooting as hard as we can, dressed in rediculous outfits.

I can't wait to be done, sometimes. I love college and all, but I can't wait to get back to being in a smaller town. A country town. Somewhere I can feel I belong again.

Soon, soon.