Beauty

There's something about this place I can't seem to leave beind. The fact that the love of my life lives up here I'm sure is a help...but it's just something about the mountains and the way a sense of "home" overcomes me when I come here that makes me never want to leave.

September I will be up here for good. He promised me.

I'm speaking of Burlington, Vermont. Though many have warned me that I, Florida native, will never survive a winter. I'm willing to try it, though. You never know, I might be tougher than they think.

I love him. I need no other person. I finally have the love of my life back and this time we've both vowed not to give up so easily.

I already miss his arms around me. All I want is to drive back home, curl up in his arms, and sleep for days. I'm so tired...the thought of returning to Florida makes me physically tired. All I want is to wake up every morning knowing that I'll either see his face or that he's only a 15 minute drive away.

I want to be there for good. I want it to be September so that I can be done with school and a job that is becoming more and more of a burden as the days pass.

I saw my first Vermont sunset last night. The sun slipped quietly behind the mountains as it splashed purples and pinks into a cotton-cloud sky right next to the base. I sat on a rock near the edge of the lake and watched the gold light fade away. As I walked back to the car to wait for him to come get me, I watched some people playing frizbee and a young girl play fetch with a dog that had a cat-like gait. I listened in on a few people as they pointed out the Coast Guard boat going out and I smiled to myself, knowing that they would never understand the meaning of loving someone that was in that service.

I can't wait to be one of those Burlington residents playing with my dog out by the lake as the sun paints its canvas in the sky. I can't wait for September.

The Value of a Life

Some people just don't deserve to have the love of a dog.

Splash. A Portugese Water Dog. My personal favorite at the kennel. I spent time with him, played with him, and was getting ready to work on his obedience training because the owner had decided she didn't want him and was going to leave him at the kennel until a home was found for him.

I spent extra time in his kennel because he was nervous all the time. The owner said he was "aggressive" because he bit the son. No one at the kennel believed it. He was a sweetheart to the core, though you had to work a little for his attention sometimes. He loved me and I would have taken him home in an instant.

This morning I came in and he wasn't in his cage where I left him last night. Curiously, his bed and favorite bone were still in the food room. So I asked Jaime if maybe he found a home. I was hopeful.

I was crushed. They euthanized him because his owner decided she didn't want him and she didn't want to pay to kennel him anymore.

I bawled for a good hour before I became enraged. I swear if that woman comes back to the kennel I will deck her. If not more.

Animals. Are not. Disposable.

What makes me angrier is I couldn't save him. I couldn't even be there for him so he had someone there that loved him when he went. I feel like it's my fault because I didn't know in time to stop them. I would have taken him and fostered him. Screw maintenance I can pay them off to keep their traps shut for the few weeks I have left here. Any one of the kennel crew would have worked their asses off to find him a home had we known what the owner was going to do.

I hate people. I really, really do. I'm furious. And I feel guilty as hell. Though happy things happened today I can't seem to get them to cover the fact that a dog was killed much before his time.

People make me sick.